If You're Reading This
by RobinCullen05
Summary: Bella finds a letter Edward wrote to her while serving in Iraq. Slightly based off the song 'If you're reading this'. ONE-SHOT. All human EXB


**A/N: Just a one-shot that has been bouncing around my head today demanding to be written. Loosely based on the song 'If You're Reading This'. Guess what I don't own the song or Twilight. S. Meyer won't share. **

**Oh and if you're waiting for an update on ATHEA, I should have one up in the next couple days. If you're waiting for Why Not?...well we're not really on speaking terms right now, I'll have something up when we can work out our differences. (yeah i've lost my mind, anyway enjoy.)**

If You're Reading This

"You can do this Bella." I told myself as knelt down at the contents of my husband's footlocker. All of the things Edward had accumulated in his stint in the army lay before me.

The box had been sitting here on my bedroom floor for two weeks, challenging me. I knew I'd have to sort through it at some point but the task was daunting. I sat back on my feet, my shins pressed firmly into the lush carpet, as I slowly lifted the lid, somewhat afraid of what I would find inside.

The sandy, musky smell assaulted my nostrils. It didn't smell at all like Edward had before he left. Edward always smelt so clean, so fresh. My eyes began to tear at the thought of what Edward must have gone through when he was overseas.

He never talked about it, on the rare occasions he was able to call. I must have spent the majority of that first year just waiting for my phone to ring. My heart would sink every time I'd look at the caller id only to see Alice or Rosalie's name.

When he would call, he would never want to talk about what he was doing. He would only want to hear about how I was, and about the pregnancy.

I had found out I was pregnant about two weeks after Edward shipped out for Iraq. It was extremely hard to face being pregnant alone, but I never complained about it. Edward didn't need to hear me whine, what he had been doing was difficult enough and I didn't want him to worry about me and lose his focus.

I slowly reached into the box to begin unpacking it. I pulled out a few perfectly folded tee-shirts with textured letter on them. I ran my fingers over the letters that spelled army. I recognized them as being the same style shirts that Edward had bought me from the PX on base. I had spent months sleeping in those shirts.

I put them away in the drawer with my night clothes knowing Edward would want me to wear them. I sat back down and reached back into the box. I pulled out a few different knick-knacks and things that he had accumulated before I stumbled on an old cigar box that was filled with pictures.

I had sent Edward a ton of pictures while he was gone. There were pictures of my first sonogram. From the first picture Edward swore we were having a little girl, even though the picture was obviously inconclusive seeing as I wasn't far along. He was adamant about it, but I knew I was carrying a son.

There were pictures of Alice and Emmett, Edward's siblings, along with their spouses. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked through all the memories that he wasn't there for, so many moments of our lives that his absence shadowed.

Alice and I had tried to help each other along but every joke, every laugh, was a reminder of his absence. I quickly put the pictures away and kept digging. I was not prepared for what I found next.

Tucked in to an old pair of boots was a folded envelope with my name written in Edward's elegant script. I slowly opened it and pulled out the creased sheet of paper.

I blinked away the tears so I could focus on the words he had written.

_My love, _

_If you're reading this, I guess I didn't make it back to you. I'm so sorry for that beautiful. Please know that I did everything in power to get back to you, but apparently fate had other things in store for us. I know you will, but I ask that you don't cry too much for me. I had a job to do. I hope you can understand that. _

_You have to be strong, love. You have our daughter to think of. Yes, like I've said we're having a girl. Don't argue with me Mrs. Cullen. _

_I guess I won't be there to welcome her into this world. I hope she looks like you; your beautiful brown eyes and soft smile. She'll be beautiful love. Tell her about me, if it's not too hard for you. Tell her I loved her with everything I had, even before I met her. It kills me to know I won't get to hold her in my arms, my only consolation is knowing that she will have more love than she knows what to do with. _

_I know Ali and Rose will be there to help you every step of the way, and I trust my brother and Jasper to keep away the boys until she's thirty. Let them help you Bella, and shower our baby girl with all the love I would give her. I know you will be an amazing mother. _

_Raise her to have your generous heart. Teach her the responsibility of standing up for the innocent and the weak. Help her find the way to make it through life with your poise and strength, and she will be fine._

_There are a few things I need you to do for me love. First, tell mom I'm in a better place, tell her I love her and that this is what was meant to be. Tell Dad I don't regret that I followed in his shoes. _

_You and Alice take care of each other. She's going to need you like you need her. Every once in a while let her spoil our little girl, don't give her too hard a time about it please, she means well. Please remind her that she is the most annoying, irritating, amazing, sister anyone could ask for. Make sure Jasper takes care of her. I have no doubts that he will, but just in case. _

_Tell Emmett…well he knows what I would say to him. Just tell him I'll see him again, have a beer for me, and remind him of the promise he made me before I left. I know Rosalie will take care of him, she's good for him. You were right about those two when you got them together. _

_As for you my beautiful wife, know that every second of my life, since we've met, has been enriched simply by your presence. I know that it may seem like my time was cut short, but my time on this planet was blessed with you: I could live a hundred years and never wish for anything more. You've given my life meaning, joy, and more love than one has any right to hope for. I love you Isabella. I want you to find peace. Find someone who'll love you like I would have. _

_I wish more than anything I could be holding you in my arms now, but I hold you in my heart instead. _

_With all the love that I possess, _

_Edward_

The letter fell from my shaking finger tips as quiet sobs over took my body. His words repeated themselves in my head.

His undying love for me leapt off the page, without a moment's hesitation. Every word etched itself in my heart. It was so surreal that at this moment I felt more love than I had ever known. I always knew Edward loved me, but seeing it all laid out in such a poetic manner, shattered my preconceived notions of how deeply he felt for me.

I heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall and I tried to quickly brush away the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

"Bella what's wrong, are you all right?"

I simply nodded. I felt two arms wrap around me tightly, as I stifled my tears. I held up the letter in an accusatory fashion, showing the culprit of my breakdown.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, love. I forgot that was in there." Edward whispered in to my hair.

I sniffled just a bit and Edward pulled me tightly into his chest.

"I don't know what I would have done…" I started.

"shhh, it's okay Bella, I'm here. Everything's okay. I should have tossed that letter before I got home but it had been in there for a long time, and I forgot about it. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I just…I'm so glad you're here."

"So am I, Bella. I love you so much." He whispered before kissing me softly.

"I know." I said with conviction, when he broke our kiss. "I love you too Edward."

We were pulled out of our moment by the sounds of crying through the baby monitor. Before I could move Edward was on his feet.

"I'll get her, then I'll finish putting this stuff away. Why don't you go ahead and rest." He said, not giving me a chance to contradict him.

I listened to him talking to our daughter through the baby monitor. As her cries subsided, I could hear him singing to her.

As I laid in bed, listening to him sing our child to sleep, I realized again, how truly blessed I was. Not only did I have a beautiful baby girl, but I had a husband who served his country proudly, and came back: when so many others would not get the chance to come home.

**A/N: One of my best friends (who I consider a brother)** **shipped out for his second tour of Iraq today with the Army. I already have one 'brother' in Kuwait with the Marine Corp, so I was feeling a little bummed and thus this piece it's short I know, but I didn't want to drag it out.  
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**I'd love to hear your reviews. But if you have something negative to say about the men and woman who serve, please save it for someone else. I can generally be accepting to a point but not today. Thank you to all who enjoyed this little one-shot, and a huge Thank you to our armed forces. **

**Review, please**


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